The Moment I Knew
by AlphaWriter1
Summary: Noah Puckerman made a promise to Finn Hudson that if anything ever happened to him, he would protect Rachel Berry, the girl who they have both loved since their freshman year of high When the worst thing that could happen to Finn happens, Puck has to step up to keep his And along the way, Rachel comes to realize who she really loved all
1. Chapter 1

**The Moment I Knew  
AU Glee Fan Fiction Series  
Chapter 1: Background **

_**A/N: So I started to attempt this plot before, and I wrote it into a dead end and lost my inspiration. After reading some spoilers for the episode The Quarterback and discussing my disappoint in what they said with my two guy friends who are also pretty big Glee fans, I've decided to give it another go. Especially after telling my guy friend what I thought should happen and he told me that it was the saddest, most beautiful thing he ever heard and it belonged on Glee because it just made sense. Besides, my other guy friend told me that what they are apparently doing with Puck is just too cliched and he predicted it from the start. I'm going to be doing this a bit differently, though, than I did originally so I hope that you guys enjoy this and think that it's up to my usual standards. And I know that I shouldn't be starting a new story with my hectic life but I really would love to get this idea out.**_

* * *

_Junior Year:  
_

_"Finn broke up with me." _

_The words were out of Rachel Berry's mouth as soon as she crossed the threshold into the choir room to find Noah Puckerman sitting at the piano, playing a simple melody of some song she was sure he was working on writing._

_ He stopped playing, fingers hovering over the black and white keys as he raised an eyebrow, his usual smirk on his face as he turned to look at her, already knowing the appearance she'd have on her face. _

_There wouldn't be tears. There would only be an angry indifference that showed that she really wanted to punch him in the face for being so stupid. Punch Finn, that is. She'd never wanted to hit Puck, even when he was being a complete and total jerk, throwing slushies into her face and making her feel like nothing more than a loser. Even when he had informed her that they'd never been friends after their break-up the previous year. _

_"You aren't upset," He stated. _

_"Clearly," She rolled her eyes, sitting down on the bench besides him, forcing him to scoot over to make room for her. "Why would I be? He lied to me about being a virgin and led me to believe we were both virgins. And then he was angry with me for being hurt by his lies, saying I had no right to be angry because we hadn't been together when he slept with Santana-of course it had to be Santana Lopez of all people, to add to my pain and humiliation. And then he broke up with me for kissing you and acted as if I were the only one to be wrong and betray anyone's trust in this relationship!" She said, crossing her arms in indignation. _

_"You're better off without him. Need a ride home from school today?"_

_"I actually have to go to your house. Your mom called and said she's working a double shift. She wanted to make sure that Naomi had a proper dinner when she got home from her basketball practice," She shrugged, reaching out and starting to play a new tune on the piano, a different take on a Taylor Swift song that Puck's younger sister was constantly forcing him to listen to when she was in the car with him. _

_"She doesn't trust me?" _

_"You're idea of a healthy dinner is a Meat Lover's Pizza," Rachel rolled her eyes. "With Cherry Cola to drink and fried dough for dessert," She added in a dead-pan tone. _

_"I'm giving her most of the food groups! Protein, dairy, grains, fruits!" He defended himself. _

_"Cherry cola hardly constitutes as a fruit and pizza and fried dough are awful excuses for grain. I think I'll make some pasta for you two for dinner. But you'll have to make the sauce if you want a meat sauce. I refuse to touch that disgusting flesh of a dead animal," She shivered at the very thought._

_He laughed, shaking his head as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him as he forced her to stand up with him, grabbing her bag and his own before leading her out into the hallway. They walked in a comfortable silence down the hallway until they reached the exit of the school, crossing the parking lot and climbing into his truck-his pride and joy. _

_Once they were away from all prying eyes, he allowed himself to speak. _

_"You know, it's okay to be sad. I know you really loved him," Puck whispered. _

_"And I know that he never really loved me. He's always going to put me second to Quinn," Rachel said, giving him a sad smile. _

_What she didn't know was that she was wrong. She had never been more wrong. Finn would always put Rachel **before **Quinn, because she meant so much more to him. He wanted to be with Rachel because she was so talented, full of so much promise. Not because she was the gorgeous, popular cheerleader with a killer body. _

_He had been with Quinn because he'd thought that he needed to be with her. He had assumed that the quarterback and the head cheerleader belonged together, whether either of them really wanted to be or not. And after their relationship had begun, he had slowly started to fall for her. But he hadn't fallen so hard that it was impossible for him to get up. He merely fell for everything that he thought he should be falling for-her looks and her status. _

_With Rachel? Finn had never stood a chance in the matter and he never let anybody forget about how perfect she was, how talented she was. How lucky he was to have her. _

_If it weren't for the fact that Puck agreed with everything that Finn was saying, he probably would have punched him in the face a long time ago and told him to shut up and stop acting like such a girl. But he didn't. Instead, he listened on silently as his ex-best friend went on to brag about his relationship with the perfect girl that both Finn Hudson and Noah Puckerman were so crazy about, confusing all of the other members of the student body as they tried to figure out what it was about Rachel that drew two of the most sought after guy's at school like bees were drawn to honey. _

_If they listened to Finn going on and on about her talent and her bright future, the way she believed in him and pushed him to be the best he could be, they would understand why Finn was so in love with her. _

_And if they paid attention to the smile that Puck got whenever she was near him and talking to him, whether directly or in a group conversation, they would realize that Puck had loved her for so long there wasn't even a reason for it anymore. He loved everything about her and he couldn't control it if he wanted to._

* * *

_"You need to make a move for Rachel. You like her, she likes you, and you two bring out the best in one another," Santana Lopez slammed Puck's locker shut, rolling across the metal so that her back was against his own locker, arms cross tightly across her chest as the cheerleader glared at him. _

_"What are you talking about? I thought it was pretty clear that she's still stuck on Finn and just worries about getting him back," Puck rolled his eyes, adjusting the strap of his backpack, gaze locked on the floor beneath him. _

_Nobody, except for Rachel, knew him as well as Santana and the two girls were the only ones who could go and tell when he was lying, with the exception of his mother and his sister. After all, three of them were the most important women in his life and the fourth was one who had been a big part of his life for a very long time. _

_"Besides, she and I are just friends. Best friends. It's all we're ever going to be," He muttered under his breath. _

_"You want more than that and if you keep pretending to go after that cow Lauren Zizes in futile attempts to try and act as though you aren't into her, I'm going to tear your mohawk off of your head and see if I can find your brain and figure out why it isn't working. Nobody is falling for your little act except for Rachel, and after that little performance you two just had in the choir room, I think it's been made even clearer to anybody who might have questioned it," Santana insisted. _

_Puck sighed, reaching up and running a hand through his mohawk as he glanced over his shoulder. Maybe he would admit it to Santana and maybe the Latina was insisting that everybody already knew about his feelings. It didn't mean he was going to work towards giving them actual proof, just incase Santana was wrong and Rachel didn't really feel the same. _

_He couldn't handle the humiliation, shame and pain of losing her twice with public knowledge. Besides, he was just starting to get his reputation back as the Bad-Ass-Mador for the football team and the Glee club. _

_He wasn't sure he was willing to give any of that up just yet._

_"Am I really that obvious?" _

_"Don't be an idiot. Of course you're not. But I know everything about you. I can read you like a book, remember?" She laughed, shaking her head as she pushed away from his locker. _

_"You know, you really are something special," Puck said, cracking a half smile as he reached out and pulled her into a hug, forcing her into the tight bear hug that he already knew that she hated receiving. _

_"Yeah, yeah-alright already!" She giggled, a very un-Santana like gesture that only he had ever been able to get out of her. "Now, hurry up and go get your girl," She insisted, a playful smile on her face as she reached out and shoved him down the hallway, in the direction of the choir room, where Rachel was always located. _

_Puck started down the hallway that she had pushed him towards, stopping when he found Finn Hudson at the trophy case, gazing at all of the old football trophies from back when the team had been good-from years before their old coach had started and before they had finally gotten a good coach who actually understood and liked football; a coach who knew what it took in order to win. _

_In retrospect, stopping was the worst mistake of his life but he still needed one more thing before he went and made a move on Rachel. He couldn't, on good conscience, make a move on her before he knew that it would be already with Finn Hudson, because he refused to take another girl from his best friend, whether or not they were currently friends at the moment. _

_"What happened to us?" Puck asked. "We used to be best friends, you know, before I slept with your girlfriend and made out with your other one," He said, flashing Finn that stupid smile that had always made his best friend laugh at how dumb his friend could be. _

_Finn flashed him a glare, signaling he had said the wrong thing. _

_"I'm sorry, Finn, I was wrong, okay? Quinn never meant anything to me, though. You have to get that. She was just one drunken night and I wasn't thinking. It didn't mean anything, even if that doesn't really do anything to change the fact that it happened. I didn't set out with the intentions of hurting you," Puck said, softening his expression as he frowned. _

_"What about Rachel? Why'd you sing that duet with her?" _

_Puck remembered Rachel asking for his help in singing a duet to make Finn jealous, but he wasn't going to tell Finn that. He wasn't going to tell Finn the truth in why he'd agreed, either. So, he didn't answer. _

_"Just forget about it. We need at least some people on the team to be talking. I'm willing to forgive you if you promise me something." _

_"What?" _

_"Stay away from Rachel." _

_"She's my best friend, Finn. You know I can't do that. She babysits my little sister, for god's sake!" Puck shook his head, trying to contain his anger at Finn for thinking he could control Rachel's love life. _

_"Get some other girlfriend. Be Rachel's friend, whatever. Just stop touching her all the time. Stop kissing her cheek and her forehead and stop holding her hands. Don't hug her and don't walk with her arm in yours. Don't put your arm around her shoulders or her waist. Act like a best friend, not a boyfriend!" Finn shook his head. "We need to get along to win, you know that," Finn muttered. _

_And Puck did know that. Which was why he agreed, even if he knew a part of him would never forgive Finn for this. _

_"Fine, I promise," Puck sighed._

_As he turned to walk away, only one thought remained in his head. Santana was going to be pissed._

* * *

_Senior Year:_

_"I'm not graduating."_

_The news hit Rachel like a wrecking ball and they managed to break through the walls she had just put up around her pain of getting rejected from NYADA. The letter hadn't come yet. Carmen hadn't even left yet. But, Rachel had forgotten the lyrics to a song she'd known her entire life and she had blown it. She would never be able to make it at NYADA after an audition like yet, yet alone start a career on Broadway. All of her dreams were shattered. _

_"I'm not making it to NYADA," She said, tears falling down her face. _

_Immediately, his arms wrapped around her and pulled her close to him as he forgot about the promise he had made to Finn Hudson the previous year. Maybe he shouldn't be acting so much like a boyfriend, but when it came to crying girls, his instinct was to wrap his arms around them in a tight hug as he tried to reassure them that everything would be okay. _

_And when it came to Rachel, he wanted to do that more than usual because of his strong feelings of something more than friendship and because of the fact that she was, well, Rachel. She was his entire world, after all and she always had been. She always would be. She was his everything and he still couldn't believe he'd ruined every chance he'd ever gotten to have a chance at a relationship with her because of his sense of right and wrong._

_"If you don't make it into NYADA, they are passing up on a talented chick with an incredible voice that shouldn't even be physically possible to come from a human, alright? So whatever happened, just know that they're putting you in. I don't care what you did. As long as you sang, you're getting in because that voice? It's too good to pass up, alright?" He whispered the promise into her hair as he planted a soft kiss to her temple. _

* * *

_"I passed! Rachel, I passed the test and I'm going to graduate!" _

_Noah Puckerman's excited shouts could be heard throughout the entire school as he raced from his European Geography class and towards Rachel's locker, where she was standing with a confident smirk that showed she had accomplished something big. _

_"You did? Oh, Noah, I knew you could do it!" She grinned as she ran into his arms, wrapping her arms around his neck and allowing him to pick her up, swinging her around._

_"How'd everything go with Carmen?" He wondered, setting her back down on the ground and releasing his grasp on her. _

_"She said she'd come! I didn't hear her say it because I'd gotten frustrated and disappointed and left her presence immediately after she'd rejected me, but Tina stayed and whatever she said convinced her to come!" Rachel said excitedly. _

_"Looks like our futures are heading in the right direction," He winked at her. _

_"Did you ever doubt it?" She teased. "Now, about you pulling that prop-knife in that fight the other day with Rick, The Stick, Nelson..." She trailed off as they walked down the hallway together, his arm over her shoulders casually. _

* * *

_Noah Puckerman and Finn Hudson were sitting on the top row of the bleachers, the moon and the stars acting as their only source of light as they stared out at the darkened football field that had defined their lives for so long. They were sitting together, staring at the field as they discussed their lives and plans for after high school was over, which would be coming up in only a few short weeks._

_Finn was deep in thought as the boys sat in silence. He tilted his head back, taking a sip of his beer. _

_The boys knew that it was risky to be drinking on school grounds, especially so close to graduation, but they didn't care. They did this whenever they had something big to discuss and whatever it was that Finn had to say, he'd made it sound drastically important to Puck when he'd called and told him to meet him there. _

_"I'm not going to marry Rachel," Finn said suddenly._

_"What?" Puck asked, choking on his beer as he allowed a small spit take. "Are you going to tell her? Why? What happened?" _

_"I love her. I love her so much that I have to let her go and do what she needs to do to make her future. She deserves better than me. I'm stuck in Lima and she's considering not going to NYADA to stay here with me. I can't let her do that. So, I'm sending her to New York the day of our wedding and I'm going to enlist in the army," Finn said determinedly._

_"The army?" Puck wondered. _

_Normally, this would be good news for Puck. After all, he was about to learn that his best friend was breaking things off with the girl that Puck himself was in love with for his own reasons. Finn was the one to end things with Rachel because he realized that Rachel was just meant for different things than he was himself, and he didn't want to work to make himself worthy of her. _

_But, he was going to have to deal with a heartbroken Rachel and that wasn't cool. And, he had to comprehend that his best friend was enlisting in the army, meaning he was about to put his life on the line. _

_Those were two very hard things to deal with and they weren't something that Puck should have to focus on when drunk. He needed a sober mind to think it all through. And once he had realized what had been said, he would go and get drunk in an attempt to cope. That was how Puck liked to deal with terrible news. _

_"I need you to promise me something," Finn went on as if Puck hadn't asked a question. "If anything happens to me, I want you to take care of Rachel. Make sure she doesn't fall for any guy who doesn't really deserve her. Make sure she's happy." Finn said. _

_"Don't talk like that, man," Puck shook his head. _

_"Can you promise me or not? Don't make me ask Sam to do it. I can't ask Kurt, because he's not scary." Finn as begging him now, but he was also baiting him, forcing him to agree with what he was saying. _

_"Fine, alright. I promise." Puck sighed, reaching up and running a hand through his mohawk. _

_Once again, he had signed off any chance of getting with Rachel._

* * *

_First Year After Graduation: _

_"Hey, little brother, I have to go. Some dude's about to throw up on Barbra Streisand's star and I've gotta either take a picture of it to torture Rachel Berry with or do something to stop it so she doesn't lecture me." Puck was off the phone before his brother even had a chance to comprehend what had just been said and figure out how he was supposed to respond to something like that. _

_Then, he was making his way towards the star and grabbing the homeless guy by the back of the star, sending him off into the direction of some other actresses star who didn't deserve it even half as much as Barbra did. _

_And once he was finished with his job, he sent a picture of the unharmed star to Rachel with a smirk, before dialing her number. _

_"I just saved your idol's star from getting ruined by some stupid, drunk homeless guy who wanted to use it to throw up on." _

_"Noah, that's incredibly blunt." _

_"The proper response would have been thank you." _

_"Did you hurt him?" _

_"I promise, everybody and everything involved were unharmed. Nothing was hurt in the making of this moment that I'd assumed would give you a reason to love and appreciate me for my bad ass-ness," Puck said with an eye roll. _

_"Thank you, Noah," Rachel said and he could hear the smile on her voice, knowing she was probably trying to fight it._

* * *

_Puck sighed as he watched Finn wrap an arm around Rachel's shoulders, sliding it down around her waist with his hand leaning down to cup her ass. The much taller boy led the tiny little girl out of the grand ball room where the party was, and towards the elevator, obviously on their way to a room. _

_It killed him to know that even though Finn had left her the day of their wedding, he was still getting the girl. He still got to wrap Rachel in his arms and feel her beneath him. He still got to undress her with more than just his eyes and kiss her. Finn was the one who was in bed with her, even though he had broken her heart multiple times and done nothing but try to change her. The best thing he had ever done for her was leave her to give her a chance to make something of herself. _

_But then he had realized that he couldn't do anything outside of Lima and he'd tried to drag Rachel back with him. That hadn't worked and Rachel had broken up with him, letting him know that her love for him wasn't enough to keep them together anymore. She was moving on and she was starting a relationship with a new guy. Some dude named Brody that she went to school with, who was albeit hated by Kurt for some unbeknown reason. But he was the type of guy that deserved a girl like Rachel because they had similar dreams and goals that matched up for a well planned out future together. _

_None of that seemed to matter, though, because Rachel had once again fallen under Finn's spell and she was making her way to a hotel room with him so that he could have her way with him. _

_He was only a little bit excited to know that Rachel had walked out on him before he'd even woken up after sex._

* * *

_When Santana had called to let him know about Brody's womenizing ways, Puck had immediately gotten on his motorcycle and driven to New York as fast as he could, stopping only when completely necessary. He hurried to where Santana told him to meet her and when the cheating, lying bastard entered the room and Santana made her grand exit, Puck walked out of the closet he'd been in. _

_"Rachel's a good girl and she deserves a good guy. A guy who will treat her with respect. Now, I see that you're doing what you have to do to survive. I get that it's hard, being a guy into music. You want to do what you love but it's expensive and your parents might not support you or they might not be able to afford it. You have to do what you have to do. But, you shouldn't go around lying about it, especially to girls as sweet, honest and loyal as Rachel. The one thing Rachel hates when it comes to guys she likes is when they lie to her. She builds everything in her life up on trust." Puck said darkly. _

_"Who the fuck are you? I already met that Finn dude she dated all through high school, the one that needed to make up his mind about where he stood with her." Brody rolled his eyes. _

_"Noah Puckerman, her best friend," Puck narrowed his eyes at him. _

_"I'm ashamed, okay? Rachel can do better than a guy who has to prostitute himself to get through school. I didn't want to tell her because I was assumed of it and I just didn't want her to know about this part of my life because I'm not proud of it. I love her," Brody Weston said, a look in his eyes that was full of such honesty it killed Puck to know that there was now a fourth guy in the world that was in love with Rachel Berry and willing to do anything to get her. _

_And that was why Puck threw the first punch, smirking as Brody staggered backwards. He used that as his advantage to punch him again, knocking him over. He tackled him to the ground and began providing him with punch after punch, directly to the face. Brody tried to fight back, but Puck was the same guy who had managed to survive in Juvy, even if it had been hard. He was strong enough to get out of there without any broken bones or serious injuries. That meant he was one hell of a fighter and he would probably win any fight he got into, as long as it was a fair fight, unlike his one with Rick._

_When he was finally finished, he stood up and smirked down at him. _

_"Stay away from my fellow hot Jew." _

_"You're in love with her too," Brody said, propping himself up just a little. _

_"I protect my girls with my life. And Rachel is the most important girl in my life-the only girl that matters to me who isn't family. So stay away from my future wife," Puck glared before he left the hotel room and got on his bike, ready to return to Lima. Rachel didn't need to know that he had ever been there, as long as Brody stayed the hell away._

* * *

Noah Puckerman was working on a car at Burt Hummel's garage when he got the phone call. One of the other workers, who had also graduated with Puck and had a long-time grudge with him had been the one to approach him, and that should have been the first signal that something was horribly wrong.

Azimio Adams made his way across the garage with the cordless phone in his hand, a solemn expression on his face as he made his way towards the tall, broad shouldered mohawked boy.

"Puck? You have a phone call," he said softly, doing his best to not make a noise too loud or anything that might give it away that something was terribly wrong.

He didn't seem to realize that the fact that he was being so nice to her was the reason that Puck immediately knew that something was wrong and that it was something that was going to terribly upset him. It had to involve Rachel Berry, his mother or his younger sister. He really prayed that Azimio was just having a bad day.

Puck turned around, grabbing the towel that was draped over his shoulder and wiping his hands off. Then he reached up to wipe the sweat from his forehead before holding a hand out to take the phone. As soon as it was in his palm, Azimio had run off to the other side of the garage.

"Hello?" He said, placing the phone in between his shoulder and his ear.

"Noah?"

It was Rachel. The voice and the fact that it had been his given name. Besides his mother and his younger sister, Rachel was the only one who called him that. And she was the only person who would call him at work anyways, as his sister was in school and his mother was at work, like she was most of the time.

"Rach? What's up? I'm at work right now and Burt's at Washington and Finn's-"he cut himself off at her sniffle and heaving sob at the mention of Finn's name, not finishing the fact that his best friend was suddenly AWOL.

"Noah, that's just the thing. Finn? He's dead," She whispered, and he could hear the tears in her voice.

"What?" He froze.

"There was some sort of an accident. I don't know the exact details-Santana is working on getting herself and I tickets back to Lima. Kurt's already there, he knows the full story but Santana wouldn't allow him to tell me anymore after my breakdown. I'm not exactly sure what-"

"Rachel, stay with Santana and don't leave her side. When you get here, let me know and I'll be there. Until then, just stay with Santana and don't talk to anybody but her, understand? You need some time to breathe and relax and deal." He cut her off.

"Alright," She sniffled. "I really could use one of your famous hugs right now." She whispered.

"I'll be with you soon, I promise," Puck assured her.


	2. Chapter 2

**The Moment I Knew  
Glee AU Fan Fiction Series  
Chapter 2: Fall To Pieces  
**

_**A/N: I'm so impressed with the reaction this story has gotten so far. Just in case I didn't make it clear enough, because my friend who proof reads it for me said he didn't exactly get that impression from it without some doubt, Puck and Rachel became best friends after Finn broke up with her because of kissing Puck after learning about his past with Santana. That is why she went to him first with everything and why Finn made Puck promise him that. While Puck was always in love with Rachel, he wanted her to be with somebody worthy of her and he knew that he wasn't good for her. Which was why he settled for being the best friend and watching her be with Finn, even though Finn wasn't any more worthy than he was. In Puck's mind, Finn was so much better, because he hadn't almost missed graduation, he'd never been to Juvie, he came from a good home and he hadn't knocked up his best friend's girlfriend. Anyways, long story short with this rant, Puck and Rachel were best friends while Puck always wanted more. Rachel loved Finn and was dazed by her school girl crush on the boy who she thought was perfect for her. **_

* * *

Rachel Berry didn't know how it had happened. It wasn't something that she'd been expecting to happen in her life, at least, not while she was only eighteen. And she most certainly hadn't been expecting to have that moment hit her so hard, given everything that they had once been and their shared past.

After all, Finn Hudson was no longer in the army. He was a healthy young man with a strong will to live and an even stronger physical build to him. He wasn't addicted to any drugs and he barely ever drank, especially since he was only eighteen and not yet at the legal age of alcohol. He didn't come from an abusive home and he didn't live in a big city with a high percentage of gang violence. There was no reason for Rachel to have gotten a phone call to inform her of his death. But she had gotten one, all the same, from a source that she knew couldn't possibly be wrong.

Kurt Hummel, Finn's step-brother, had been the one to make the phone call and while the teen gay was an excellent actor, even he wasn't that good of a performer. Even the infamous Kurt Hummel couldn't bring himself into heart wrenching sobs that made him unable to speak properly on demand. That was a skill that even Rachel Berry herself had yet to perfect, which was just further proof that the message he had delivered to her had to be correct and true.

He hadn't given her exact details, although she hadn't exactly given him the chance. She'd heard the words and cried out a panicked no before falling to her knees as the sobs took over.

That was when Santana Lopez, her roommate, had rushed into the room and taken the phone from her, asking questions to learn more. Santana had always been the tougher of the two, which only made sense because Santana had been the stone cold bitch without a heart while in high school and Rachel was only the loser girl who dressed like a librarian and worried too much about Broadway and her potential talent to be a star one day.

When Santana had hung up the phone, she'd instructed Rachel to call Noah Puckerman and inform him of what had happened, telling her that she was to turn off her phone as soon as she was done. Santana was very strict about Rachel's well being and knew that the girl needed to be protected from hearing or saying.

While Rachel spoke on the phone with Puck, who only she was permitted to call by his given name, Santana was hard at work in getting them tickets for a flight back home as soon as possible, while texting anybody who she could think of to cover their hours at work, starting with her new girlfriend, Dani, who did whatever Santana asked, the same way the pretty latina did for the curvy blonde.

"Start packing. We're leaving tomorrow morning and we're staying for two weeks. Kurt's thinking about staying in Lima. Mr. Shuester wants to have a big get together with us all when we're all back home...if it's too much, we don't have to go. But you do have to go back to Lima. You should be around family and friends, Rachel. It's going to be good for you. Besides, you know that Puckerman's going to be there, and you know as well as I do that he's the only one who can help you when you're sad." Santana said softly, before turning on her heel and making her way towards her own bedroom.

Rachel sighed, climbing to her feet with a sigh.

She made her way towards her closet and grabbed her pink suitcase, the same one that Finn had sent her to New York with after calling off their wedding and informing her that she would be attending NYADA while he joined the army. Apparently that hadn't been his way of breaking up with her, though, as he had shown up a few months later expecting everything to fall back into place without having even called her once in their time apart.

Of course, she didn't really mind that as a part of her would always love Finn. Her time apart from him had made her realize that she was meant for things that were much larger than what Finn was meant for himself, but the feelings were still there.

He had still been her first love. The first boy to ever make her feel comfortable enough to give herself to him completely. He was the boy who had believed in her more than she had believed in herself. He made her feel beautiful, sexy, talented, powerful and loved. He amde sure that she always felt as perfect as he believed she was.

And now he was gone and all of those feelings were nothing more than a memory. She couldn't even hope to ever get them back, because he was gone now. He was dead from some freak of an accident and she hadn't even gotten to say a proper goodbye.

At least she had spoken to him again after her last meeting with him face to face, where she had walked out on him before he'd even woken up the last time they'd hooked up. At least their last conversation had been on a slightly happier note, where she wasn't using him to release her pent up frustrations with her confusing relationship with Brody and where he wasn't angry with her for not believing in them and walking out on what could have been their second-or fifth, to be more precise-chance together.

* * *

As soon as Rachel entered the choir room, where her relationship with Finn Hudson had first started to actually become something real where they were connected, rather than just two students at the same group who never spoke to one another, she could feel a heavy wave of emotion come rushing right back at her. She stopped just past the doorway, Santana by her side with a supportive and protective arm wrapped around her shoulders.

It was too much the bare, dealing with the fact that they were all meeting in there in order to properly say their goodbyes and have a final tribute to one of their own, when she had barely had time to adjust to the knowledge.

After all, it hadn't been a very fair thing to throw at her before telling her to pack her bags because she'd be returning to Lima and then dragging her off to a room full of her old peers from high school who had been impacted by the choir room and the boy they were there to pay tribute to just as much as herself.

Noah Puckerman was off of his feet and closing the gap between the tiny brunette and himself faster than anybody else could even realize that she was upset. He reached out, pulling her from Santana's grasp and into his own as he held onto her as tightly as he possibly could, resting his chin on the top of her head, hugging her in almost the same fashion as they had hugged back in their short-lived relationship back in sophomore year when he had picked her over the football team and his popularity.

As their fellow former Glee-club members watched the pair of Jewish teenagers hug, all conversations came to a sudden end and the tears came to a sudden halt.

"It's going to be okay, Berry, it's going to be okay. I promise you, okay?" He whispered into her hair, planting a soft kiss to the top of her head as he gave her one more tight squeeze.

He released his two-armed grasp on her, keeping one limp arm around her waist. He walked towards her favorite seats in the choir room, right in the front row. He helped her into the seat before sitting down besides her, keeping his arm in place the entire side. Santana followed suit, sitting down on her other side.

The shocking part was, Rachel's frozen state of being when entering the room was not the worst reaction the group had seen. They had actually been expecting worse from their own residential drama queen and diva. They had expected her to approach the group wearing all black with a veil to cover her face.

She'd probably have some sort of a southern-belle in mourning look going on, while she dabbed at her eyes from beneath her veil with glove covered hands and a hankie in a bright shade of white.

They'd figured she would be bawling her eyes out and making loud, attention drawing noises so that everybody knew she was hurting more than anyone.

And they wouldn't have found it annoying for a change. They would have found it the proper reaction for a girl like her, because Rachel was a girl of extremes and what she had had with the deceased was something that would bring out the worst in anybody, no matter how they behaved on a regular basis.

So, seeing her enter the room and merely tense up, refusing to speak or move for a few seconds before Puck had arrived to take care of her and talk some sense into her was a calming and normal response. They were pretty sure that Kurt had had a far worse reaction and Mr. Shuester had had a worse one yet.

But, as Mr. Shuester treated Finn like a son and Kurt was his brother, that was fair and they figured nobody else would be anymore upset than you would be for a fellow alumni who had died in a freak accident, who also happened to be a close friend.

Quinn Fabray gave them quite the shock when she entered the room.

Dressed in a black and white pin-stripped sun dress that was typical for her style-fitted around her chest, cap-sleeves and poofing out just enough around her legs, ending at the middle of her thighs, she looked like she usually did. With her still short blonde hair pulled back by a black headband and limited jewelry, she wasn't much different from ordinary.

But the girl had mascara streaking her face as the tears left a make-up stained pattern down her cheeks. Her mascara ran with each silent tear as the girl tried to appear as strong and confident as she always looked.

But, she couldn't do it.

Seeing all of her old friends in the choir room where she'd spent so much time in high school was just too much for her, since it was the place that had helped to ruin her relationship with the love of her life, Finn Hudson. She broke down into loud, heart wrenching sobs as she fell to the floor, wrapping her arms around her legs as she folded herself into a tight ball, burying her face against her knees.

"Quinn," Brittany Piece said in her usual innocent and sweet tone. "Don't cry," She instructed, as if it were the easiest thing in the world. The dim-witted blonde who had just graduated and started at MIT was sitting in the front row, away from the rest of the group in a pair of form fitting leggings and an oversized sweatshirt from her college, falling off of her shoulders. Her hair was falling into her face in a loose manner and she lacked any make-up.

"Come on, Q-we're all upset. Let's just try and remember the good times," Santana said softly, a tone that she rarely ever used on people, especially Quinn, taking over.

"Baby mama, I know how you felt about-"

"SHUT UP!" Quinn shrieked, tearing her head up to look at them. "All of you just shut up! You don't know what I'm going through right now. I _loved _him and I gave him up because of one drunken mistake with a guy who just told me that I wasn't fat. I ruined my entire life and the only thing that I really lost was the only thing that I never ended up getting back! I ruined my chances with him and when he finally gave me another chance, I was second best because he felt the way I felt about him for somebody else. And now I'm never going to get another chance with him. I'm never going to be able to tell him how I felt or say that I love him. I'm never going to get to look at his beautiful face again or-"

"Quinn," Rachel said, her voice surprisingly calm.

The fact that she had spoken up was probably what had caused Quinn to stop mid sentence, eyes locked on the tiny brunette she had tortured for so many years over a petty jealousy for one Finn Hudson.

"I know how you feel. I did the same thing as you, and while he always came back to me because, as you said, I was to him what he was to you, I still know what it feels like to lose him. And, like you, I will never again feel him hold me. I'll never get to kiss him again and I'm never going to get the chance to tell him that I love him again. He's never going to say it back to me. But, I can't push away the people who care about me and who _can _do all of that for me. We need each other-everybody in this room-more right now than we ever did before," She whispered.

"You always were a better person than me. Here I am, declaring my love for the guy you were supposed to marry, and you're telling me that you're going to help me and you understand my pain," Quinn said with sad laugh.

Rachel offered a small, watery smile back at her as she rose to her feet, unfolding herself from Puck's grasp. She made her way across the choir room and fell to her knees besides Quinn, wrapping her in a hug. Once the hug was over, she rose back to her feet and helped Quinn up as well. Then she lead her towards her seat, putting Quinn in the seat on the opposite side of Santana before returning to her own.

"I think we need to-"

"Mr. Shuester, if you're going to recommend that we sing in an attempt to get over this, I'm going to have to disagree," Kurt Hummel said from the back row.

The usually perky and preppy boy looked miserable, wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt-something none of them had ever seen him in before. Wearing a pair of much too large McKinley High sweatpants, rolled at the waist repeatedly in an attempt to make them fit better with a baggy, long McKinley High School Football tee shirt with a large number 5 on the back, he was dressed from head to toe in Finn's old clothes. He had his head buried in his hands and refused to look at the group, his hair lacking its usual luster and style as it hung limp around his face.

Blaine Anderson, his fiance, had an arm wrapped hesitantly around the back of Kurt's chair as he looked down at him with a worried expression. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to be doing.

"This is one time that I just...can't. It's going to be hard enough going through all of his old things tomorrow with Carol and my father. I don't think I'll be able to deal with a group singing sad, depressing songs in an attempt to get over the loss of one of our own. He was my _brother _for God' sake, Mr. Shuester. I just...this was a bad idea," Kurt said, jumping to his feet and starting towards the door.

"Kurt!" Blaine called out.

"Kurt," Rachel said, reaching out and latching onto his arm as he passed by her, forcing him to stop. "I'm going to come with you to sort through his things, if that's alright," She whispered, rising to her feet as well.

"Do you care if I come, too? I'd like something to remember him by," Quinn added in a soft voice.

"That would probably be a good idea...it'll save Carol the worry of calling you both afterwards. Puck, you should come, too. You'll know what was important to him better than anybody. And I'm sure there are certain things he would want you to have," Kurt sighed, reaching back as he pulled his arm from Rachel to rub behind his neck awkwardly.

He looked as though he hadn't slept in weeks. It was a terrifying sight to see the one member who had always been perfectly put together so torn apart. Kurt hadn't even been that horrible when his father had had the heart attack back in his junior year.

* * *

"I'm coming back with you, to New York," Puck insisted.

"That's ridiculous. Jake needs you here," Rachel shook her head.

It was almost time for Rachel and Santana to return to New York, having spent a week and three days back in Lima. Most of their former Glee club mates had returned to their new homes, and they were all starting to return to their normal lifestyles, still occasionally getting a moment of sadness overtaking them whenever something that forced them to remember Finn Hudson happened.

Mr. Shuester, Coach Bieste, and Noah Puckerman had gone to Principal Sylvester with their case, trying to convince the school to retire Finn's football number. It hadn't taken them two minutes to get Sue to agree to the arrangement.

Kurt was making rapid fire plans for his wedding with Blaine, who was more or less agreeing with everything Kurt said, just excited to finally be getting his happily ever after, while Mercedes put in her two sense about the entire thing, trying to turn it into something other than the "traditional" Glee-style wedding that Kurt had in mind for himself.

Quinn was back at Yale, ignoring the phone calls of every member of the Glee club except for Rachel, talking only to the brunette she'd always hated because Rachel was the only one who understood. Nobody else seemed to think that Quinn deserved to be upset over knowing she'd never get another chance with Finn, because she had given up her chance. Sure, she deserved to be upset, but she was taking it away from Finn's _true _love by acting as though she were the widow in mourning.

Rachel got it, though.

Look at it this way: you're with a guy who your parents think is absolutely perfect. You think he's pretty perfect, too. Everybody is telling you how lucky you are to have him, how jealous they are of your perfect relationship and how cute you look together. You're pretty sure that you and this guy are going to end up married one day. You'll probably be a stay at home mom, or maybe you'll became a real estate agent or a school teacher. You haven't really given a career much thought yet, but you do know that you're going to be with him for the rest of your life while he works at some job that will give them enough to get by, living comfortably.

You'll have two perfect kids. A little boy who's exactly like his father, but with your blonde hair and only about three quarters of his father's height. But, he'll be a star quarterback, there's no doubt about that. Then there will be the little girl, an exact replica of yourself with your blonde hair and green eyes. She'll break a lot of hearts as she gets older and she'll probably even be the head cheerleader and prom queen, just like you.

So, your life's all planned out for you and it's looking pretty great. But, you're only a sophomore and that can get kind of boring.

So, one day you're tempted by your perfect boyfriend's rebel best friend, the bad boy of the school who's slept his way through the entire female population. You're not proud of it, but you were drunk and feeling sort of fat that day, and he was saying all the right things. So, you hook up with your boyfriend's best friend and the guy who's been sleeping with your best friend-even if you aren't really the biggest fan of the school slut.

You keep it a secret and nobody knows. You don't speak to him again.

And then you miss a period. And then you pass a pregnancy test. And another. And another. So, you tell your flawless boyfriend that you're pregnant, ready to tell him the complete and total truth, tears already falling down your face and he gives you the idea of tricking him into thinking it's his with his naiveness. So, you lie to him and he believes it.

It was wrong, but Rachel could see what Quinn had done and why she had done it. She had to admit that she probably would have done the same in her shoes, without a second thought.

"Jake's doing fine," Puck rolled his eyes. "Besides, he isn't listening to me anyways. I know that Kitty girl's with Artie, and that's fine because she's too much like Quinn for a Puckerman. But, the thing is, Marley isn't good for him. We Puckerman guys? We need a girl who's going to force us to tie down and make us be better. Somebody strong-somebody like-"He cut himself off, shaking his head.

"Like Lauren?" Rachel wondered innocently.

"What? Lauren? God, no," Puck shook his head, making a face. "Rachel, the only girl that was ever strong enough to get me to change probably would have been you, but you were always my best friend," Puck replied casually.

"You _did _pick me over football. I suppose you're right about your brother needing somebody with a little more will power, but he's happy. Do you really want to mess with that?" Rachel asked, taking a sip of her Black Chai Latte, staring intently at him with wide brown eyes over the top of the cup.

"Can we stop talking about Jake? I got into NYU," He blurted out.

"You did? Oh, Noah! That's absolutely wonderful!" She grinned, reaching across the table and punching him in the arm before returning to her seat, taking on an angry tone. "Why didn't you tell me that you applied?" She glared.

"I didn't want to get your hopes up if I didn't get in-I know you've been begging for me to get out there for years," He rolled his eyes. "Anyways, I'm thinking about becoming a correctional officer. Don't laugh at the fact that I want to go into Law Enforcement, my mom already did," He chuckled at the memory of telling his mother the good news.

"Noah, I think that's a wonderful idea! You would be able to offer those kids so much help, especially with your past. Kids would feel comfortable talking to you because of all the trouble you've gotten yourself into, and with your background, it's a wonderful way to show that they can be better than a deadbeat dad or a set of absentee parents," Rachel told him happily, a sparkle to her eyes that hadn't been there in quite some time.

"You're really proud of me, aren't you?" He asked, flashing her an amused grin that was partly puzzled.

"Of course I am! I'm so glad that you're choosing to make something of yourself. We were all terrified that you'd try to do something noble in remembrance for Finn, like running off to join the army or something dangerously foolish like that."

"You think I couldn't handle being in the military?" He teased, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Of course I know that you're plenty strong enough to handle the pressure, Noah. But the circumstances are rather unsafe, none the less. I would be worried about you if I knew you were out there on the front lines," Rachel replied, ignoring his playful tone the way she usually did when it came to him trying to earn a compliment about his masculinity.

Puck rolled his eyes as he listened to her talk on and on about how excited she was for his future. He tried not to focus on her happiness that he wasn't trying to do something noble to play the hero. She didn't understand that what he was really doing was the most noble thing he had ever done in his entire life.

It was the most noble thing he would ever get to do in his life.

* * *

"Alright, spill."

Santana Lopez kicked shut the door to Noah Puckerman's bedroom as soon as she'd entered, leaning her back against the door with her arms crossed firmly across her perky chest.

Dressed in a pair of short, spandex yoga shorts that stretched out across her firm ass with cursive script tempting the male mind to stare at that location, paired with simple flip flops and a fitted tank top to show off her main assets, it would be any straight male's wet dream come to life to see her standing there. But for Noah Puckerman, it was a warning that something bad was about to happen-it was a sign that a nightmare was about to approach.

"Spill?"

"What's up with you coming back to New York with us? You always said that the east coast was foreign. It was for serious, boring, ugly people, and that you were none of those things. Why the sudden change of heart?" She asked, narrowing her eyes at him.

"I still can't believe you never laughed at me for saying all that when Ohio is technically on the east coast, even if we are a little more central," He rolled his eyes as he chuckled at one of his many infamous lines to avoid planning ahead and discussing his future.

"Puckerman!" Santana growled.

"I made a promise to Finn," Puck sighed.

"What?" Santana froze, eyes growing wide as her jaw dropped.

"I promised Finn that I'd protect Rachel if anything ever happened to him. When he was planning to call off the wedding to go run off and be in the army? He made me promise that if anything happened to him out there, I'd be there for Rachel. Maybe it wasn't because of him fighting with our troops, but something happened to him and I made him that promise. I'm not letting him down now. I'm going to take care of her and make sure she stays safe," He muttered, running a hand through his mohawk.

"That's the most touching thing I've ever heard," Santana said softly, moving across his room and sitting on the bed besides him.

"OW!"

"And it's also the dumbest thing I ever heard!" Santana snapped as she slapped him across the back of the head. "Puckerman, are you an idiot? You had a chance to be with the girl of your dreams-you knew that Finn was going to give her up, and you didn't make a move? Why are you such an idiot?" Santana snapped.

"Finn was my best friend! He loved her! I couldn't just go and steal another one of his girls from him. I already messed up everything for him and Quinn," Puck pointed out.

"Quinn did that to herself. And Hudson messed up his own chances with Rachel more times than I can count. The best thing for Rachel would be to be with you! And now you're going to be on some noble kick in an attempt to fulfill some twisted promise you made to Finn, once again ruining your chances with her. I'm starting to think that you don't even want to be with her!" Santana ranted.

"You know that's not true," Puck shook his head.

"Then man up and start acting like you actually want her! Step up to the plate before somebody else gets the balls to do what you've been afraid of doing for years!" Santana snapped, rising to her feet and storming out of the room, leaving him there with his thoughts-a rather dangerous idea, which Santana should have already known.


End file.
